Reasons To Email

You want to book Spartakeith for a show.  You want to tell Spartakeith how much fun you had at his last show.  You want to ask him a question, and have already checked the FAQ.  You want to interview him for any reason.  You need someone to do silly voices for a cartoon.  You're throwing a party and someone's invited.  You have some sort of present for him.  You have a great new (vegetarian) recipe you'd like to share with him.  You're the head of a record label looking for the next big thing, even though Spartakeith is 5' 5(& 1/2!)" tall.  You control endorsements for a musical instrument, amplifier, or accessory company and wish to have Spartakeith on your side.  You're sexy and want to take Spartakeith out for dinner and a movie.

Reasons Not To Email

You want to send Spartakeith naked pictures of your ugly friend.  You want to ask him a question listed on the FAQ (not that he won't answer it, but there's only so much space in an inbox, you know?).  You want to threaten or beat him up for flirting with your girl (Which he will understand, but you don't need to worry.  If your girl is gonna leave you, she's a-gonna leave you, and Keith doesn't want to get caught in the middle of THAT.  Besides, he didn't mean it, he's just the flirting kind. If anything, you should take that as a compliment to your taste! 'Sides, Spartakeith already has a girlfriend.).  You want to make short jokes.  He owes you money.  You want to know when the shows are.  You're looking to get in touch with the President of Burundi or some other person equally unaffiliated with Spartakeith.